Zambia Hunt

Through the years I have had opportunity to observe the overall spiritual health and trajectory of missionary children who grow up on the mission field. Some seem to thrive in the ministry where they serve with their parents, engaging in ministry wherever they go, and sometimes returning to the mission field themselves. Other missionary children however, become disillusioned and bitter. These children despise the ministry as they get older, and cannot wait until they can escape.

The spiritual welfare of the children God might bless us with, was a great concern for Lori and I as we began as a young married couple, to prepare for our life in Africa.

Over a dozen years ago (April 2012), I interviewed our son Austin on the subject of children and missions. I specifically wanted to hear his young adult perspective of the experiences that he had as a boy, born in Africa and into a missionary family. 

Specifically, I was interested to hear his perspective of what it takes for children to develop a heart for God and the ministry. Here is what I gleaned from that conversation with him.

Involve your children in ministry.

From the beginning appropriately involve your children in the work of ministry. This is one of the most important ways children at all ages of development learn to value ministry. When our children could walk, we might ask them to help pick up songbooks after the morning service, or pick up trash papers on the church lawn. As you intentionally engage your children, be sure to over and over reinforce that this is ministry for the Lord.

As our children get older, take them with you as you do ministry. The child needs to see your heart for people, and your passion for the work of God, so they catch the vision for themselves. Austin put it this way,

“I was impacted by going with dad and seeing firsthand the passion for ministry. If you don’t believe in what you do, I won’t. If you include me and I see the reality, then I buy in and want to do it.”

Disciple your children.

Beyond shared ministry experiences, your child needs personal discipleship. Church life is vital, but it is not enough; issues need to be addressed in the intentional relationship of discipleship in the home.

“One longing was that I was specifically discipled one-on-one with my parents.”

This discipleship is both informal and formal. Informal in the sense that every parent should recognize and continually think of the effects of their words, actions, and disposition in everyday living within the home. Seize opportunities for simple, short instructions that inform the mind, and disciple the heart in the everyday activities of life. Moses urged us to “speak of them when you lie down, when you rise up, and when you walk in they way” (Deuteronomy 6:7).

But don’t miss what Austin said; he longed for intentional formal discipleship opportunities with his parents.

Dad, as you spend time discipling others, don’t miss this golden opportunity to disciple your sons and daughters.

Encourage your children to make friends.

It is vital that your children are allowed and encouraged to develop friendships with their age mates within the ministry context. This helps deepen the sense of belonging and makes the work feel like it belongs to them. We will need to disciple our children through the cross-cultural aspects these relationships raise. 

Intentionally help your children reconnect.

Transitions, especially furlough, can disrupt this connection. As older children going back to the States on furlough causes them to lose connections with the relationship and ministry.

Austin said,

“Furlough totally disconnected me for an entire year and didn’t have the same passion upon return.”

It is important for parents to intentionally reconnect with their children when they return to the ministry.

Missionary children are constantly saying “good-bye”, wise parents will recognize the challenges this raises, and intentionally engage prayerfully, to provide their children with a biblical perspective, and reingagement.

Conclusion:

We all long for our children to grow in grace and the knowledge of Jesus Christ. We acknowledge that God’s grace is necessary to call our children into a relationship with Jesus and that they must place their faith in Jesus for their own salvation. As we pray for that grace to be shed upon our children, we should intentionally and aggressively labor for Christ to be formed in the minds and hearts of our children.